


Life is yaoi. Shut up and sing.

by Straj



Category: Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson (TV Russia), Elementary (TV), Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes (Downey films), Шерлок Холмс | Sherlock Holmes (TV 2013)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 08:58:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5822455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Straj/pseuds/Straj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Opera is about Holmes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The action first. Canon, not so much.

Part I

Living on Baker street. Holmes sits in his chair, Watson stands next to the fireplace, stirring the embers with a poker. Holmes dressed in worn home Slippers, flannel pants of indefinite color, a dirty shirt and a dressing gown. Watson is dressed in black pants, white shirt and brown vest.  
Suddenly, Watson turns to Holmes.

 

Watson.

 

\- My Dear Holmes!  
I've been wanting to say!  
What is full to you  
Detective vegetate!  
Come into the world.  
The wine and card!  
Where can we  
All girls fuck!

 

Holmes  
(looking up at Watson)

 

Oh, doctor Watson!  
I thank you!  
Care your I appreciate!  
But girls don't need...  
I love only you,  
My John Watson!

 

Watson.

 

\- Recognition?  
I'm shocked, damn!  
You, in fact,  
All this time  
I wanted to fuck?  
Oh, dear friend!  
I'm so immensely happy....  
Let the happiness that  
Ephemeral!  
I want to kiss you!

 

Holmes

 

\- Watson?  
How to understand this?

Part II

 

The Cabinet Of Lestrade. Mrs. Hudson is crying, sitting at the edge of the table. Lestrade doesn't know how to help her.

 

Lestrade

 

\- What happened, Mrs. Hudson?  
You just no face,  
And the tears are flowing.

 

Hudson.

 

Crazy my two guest.  
And Mr. Holmes!  
And Mr. Watson!  
They sing  
And holding hands!  
What should I do  
A helpless old woman?

 

Lestrade

 

I will call the doctors crew  
Let them check their  
And tell us...  
What if they are waiting for Bedlam?

 

Hudson

 

Thank you, Mr. Lestrade.


	2. Act II. Steampunk, but not the fact.

Part I

 

Room at Baker street. Holmes was lying on the couch, unshaven and in a rumpled linen stale and dirty robe. Watson sits on the edge of the couch and looks at Holmes.

 

Watson

 

Oh, Holmes, my buddy!  
Let's take a walk with you!  
Go through Hyde Park  
And Oxford street  
Under the light of a lantern,  
Embracing each other, stand up!

 

Holmes

 

\- My doctor! Sheesh!  
I don't want to walk,  
I just need to lie down  
And smoke hashish!

 

Watson

 

No way, Holmes!  
The city want to walk  
Today I!   
Went to light another  
My wife!  
My love boils for a long time,  
Only you are destined to love me!

 

Holmes

 

\- What is it, Watson?  
You are so red...  
Eyes sparkle!  
And speech flow are as follows,  
Like not pissing you,  
To me going!

 

Watson

 

\- Oh, Holmes.  
To admit you want...  
Further I will remain silent!  
Pressed to the wall,  
To engage you in a kiss...

 

Holmes

 

\- Go, Watson  
You fuck!

Part II

 

Living in an apartment is four Watson. Visiting Mrs. Watson is Irene Adler.

 

Irene

 

Oh, my God,  
Mrs. Watson?!  
What happened?

 

Mrs. Watson

 

Oh, sweet Irene!  
Everything went hazy  
In my head  
John my...  
He thought urgently  
Make an offer  
Holmes!

 

Irene

 

\- Crazy!  
What a tragedy!  
And Holmes?

 

Mrs. Watson

 

\- He sent it.

 

Irene

 

\- Well, thank God  
All is not lost.  
But Watson now   
One way -  
In The Bedlam.


	3. Act III. The end of XIX-beginning of XX, well, something like that

Part I

 

Entrance on Baker street. Holmes pressed against Watson's wall. The doctor in his hand a scalpel, and absolutely crazed expression in the eyes. Holmes is dressed in brown pants, shirt and vest. Watson in white shirt and black trousers; on top of all big apron covered in blood stains.

 

Watson

 

\- Oh, Holmes. Come to me!  
Gonna nail you to the wall  
And to hold on to the neck tongue  
And a scalpel!

 

Holmes  
(trying to get away)

 

\- No, Watson, don't!  
Against me!  
Get out!  
And to sin not pushing it.  
And the scalpel, the scalpel move!  
You want my death?

 

Watson

 

\- No, Holmes!  
So just won't quit!  
You my feelings won't sort!  
But I now kiss you  
And flair will chew through it alive!

 

Holmes

 

\- Oh! Watson!  
And Martha?  
Where is it?

 

Watson

 

\- I killed her in the morning!  
And came to you, to you, rather!  
Caught and cornered you at the door.  
And cuddle.  
To death!

 

Holmes

 

\- I don't like this!  
Believe me!  
Pray!   
Leave me alone!

 

Watson.

 

\- Faded paint of the day...  
And I know your fate.  
Will wave his...  
And here.  
The blood is already underway...  
And I lick it with you...  
My dear Holmes!

Part II

 

Martha Watson in the office of the inspector Lestrade. Sobs and he comforts her.

 

Lestrade

 

\- What is it, Martha?  
You pale...  
And the blood stream  
You from injury?

 

Martha

 

\- My husband went mad.  
He plunged the scalpel in the morning  
And ran away,  
Thinking  
That killed me.  
But I went down,  
And he's...  
Oh, my God!

 

Lestrade

 

WHAT?!

 

Martha

 

\- He cut to pieces the body of Holmes  
A scalpel!  
He's covered in blood was  
And softly howled...  
Only I can make out  
What he loves  
Only corpses!

 

Lestrade

 

\- Outfit send,  
A thousand devils!  
And will be arrested  
This doctor!


	4. Act IV. These days. London

Part I

 

Living on Baker street. Sherlock purple shirt and black trousers is engaged in experiments at the kitchen table. John is at the plate and prepares Breakfast. John turns to Sherlock.

 

John

 

\- Oh, Sherlock! Dear friend!  
And I can see your fear!  
I'm sorry, believe me!  
And in your heart I'll open the door!  
Frankly, I want you...  
I've seen only in my dreams!  
And sweet I loved you,  
And sweet your was the heat!  
I love you, I love you immensely!  
But this love of air, ephemeral!

 

Sherlock  
(turning to John)

 

\- My John...  
To confess, I'm confused...  
But I'm in love with you a long time.  
But I can't tell you...  
I miss...

 

John

 

\- Oh, Sherlock! My favorite!  
And I'll kiss you now  
And on the lips.  
And right in the eye!  
The neck and collarbone!  
We will with you  
Blazing party!

 

Sherlock

 

\- Oh, John! You're right!  
Take me now,  
Keep to the wall!  
And deepen their kiss!  
Oh, Yes! Oh, my God!

 

John

 

\- My favorite detective,  
You now I will caress!  
In you I adore!  
And body the secret corners I would find!

 

Sherlock

 

\- I want it!  
Come on, my dear John!  
Get down to business  
Get now  
You access to the body!

Part II

 

Martha and Greg are sitting on the kitchen downstairs and listen to the sounds heard from above.

 

Greg

 

\- Well, what of Martha?  
What happened there?

 

Martha  
(smiling)

 

\- There is nothing better  
In the world  
What to watch  
As John and Sherlock  
Frolic like kids!  
Then on the floor,  
It is on the table  
I will take charge  
Doubly.

 

Greg

 

\- A miracle happened!  
They kissed?

 

Martha

 

\- Oh, Yes! Greg!  
And the miracle finally happened...  
They kissed,  
And spooning,  
And admired,  
And affection did!  
But I think  
They went crazy!

 

Greg

 

\- So, Martha, their fate.  
After all, everyone wanted  
That they fell in love...  
And maybe even married?

 

Martha

 

\- I can't wait.  
That will be interesting, Greg.

 

Greg

 

\- Let's sit down  
And smoke crack.  
And day dream.

 

Martha

 

And at business.  
Thank you.


	5. The action of the fifth. New York. These days.

Part I

 

The house in Brooklyn. In the living room sitting on a chair Holmes without the shirt, and blue jeans. On the couch Joan Watson in a black simple dress. They violently fight.

 

Holmes

 

Joan, I love you!

 

Joan

 

\- You and I - no!  
Do not go near!

 

Holmes

 

\- Joan, you are my ideal,  
Without you I'm just an old fuck.  
Surrender I'm captured  
Passions, love  
Immeasurable.

 

Joan

 

\- Come, Holmes, you right...   
And then left...  
And after  
To the police I will go.

 

Holmes

 

\- Joan! Come back!  
And I'm sorry.  
I was wrong.  
Me you sorry!  
Forget all...

 

Joan

 

\- You went away  
In black freezing night.

 

Holmes

 

\- Leave, time, bear with me.  
In the light of the next day,  
You won't find me!

 

Joan

 

\- It would be hunting,  
To look for you  
A bustling city in a swamp!

 

Holmes

 

I   
drunk.  
Death will occur.  
So let it be.  
And I will repeat...  
And repeat  
Delirious post-mortem  
Your name.

 

Joan

 

\- Move over,  
Mr. detective.  
It's time to temper  
Your impulse.  
I don't like you.

Part II

 

Police station in Brooklyn. In the office of the Lieutenant Mycroft sitting in a black suit and Joan Watson in a black dress.

 

Mycroft

 

\- He drowned himself.

 

Joan

 

\- And what?  
You have problems  
Will be gone, Mycroft.  
About your brother... no one  
To cry.  
He lived like a schmuck  
And died like a jerk.

 

Mycroft

 

Don't talk like that, Joan.  
You loved him, perhaps?

 

Joan

 

\- More then.  
It was interesting to me  
Only as the patient,  
But as a man,  
He was unbearable.  
God bless him!

 

Mycroft

 

\- You are right, Watson.  
Well, it into the swamp.  
And I...  
I live for the hunt.  
And you'll probably want to live.  
Do not let the Sherlock to grieve.


	6. The final

A large room where on one side lie, stand and sit all the Watson and Holmes, and Mrs. Hudson, Mrs. Watson, Irene Adler, inspector Lestrade, Mycroft Holmes.

 

Part I

 

Canon, not him.

Watson

 

I was better my feelings to understand  
And I want to hug you.  
It's sexual revolution!

 

Steampunk, but not so

Watson

 

I want freedom in our love,  
Give me a hug, friend hug.  
It's sexual revolution!

 

The end of XIX – beginning of XX century  
Revolution of man.

Watson

 

You had to kill  
But I never stopped loving you.  
It's sexual revolution!

 

London. Twenty-first century.  
Know the love of the people.

John

 

I am happy that I can love you,  
And I'm happy that near can be.  
It's sexual revolution!

 

New York. Twenty-first century.  
Where are you, man?

Joan

 

I don't need an alcoholic and a drug addict.  
Us in bed the choice is given.  
It's sexual revolution!

Takes the chorus from Mrs. Hudson, Mrs. Watson, Irene Adler, inspector Lestrade and Mycroft Holmes.

 

Choir  
(a Cappella)

 

Who's important?  
Who's right?  
You always have a choice.  
Who's gonna be gentle?  
Who will love you?  
Choose now and love it!  
Love now,  
Not in an hour.  
May your love will find the wings  
And soar to heaven.  
This sexual revolution.

Part II

 

Canon, not him.

Holmes

 

I don't need in bed,  
I just need a good friend.  
But to break me force,  
This vicious circle!  
This sexual revolution!

 

Steampunk, but not so

Holmes

 

I need only opium and hashish,  
I don't want to love you,  
Here's to you, Watson, shish,  
Not to be such, not to be!  
This sexual revolution!

 

The end of XIX – beginning of XX century  
Revolution of man.

Holmes

 

I am against such relations,  
I don't want to get opened!  
I am against such love!  
Forgive me, Watson, I'm sorry!  
This sexual revolution!

 

London. Twenty-first century.  
Know the love of the people.

Sherlock

 

I'm asexual, and I don't understand,  
But I know,  
John is my best neighbour.  
But I do not know – Yes or no?  
This sexual revolution!

 

New York. Twenty-first century.  
Where are you, man?

Holmes

 

Yes, I'm an alcoholic and addict!  
And the choice we are all given.  
But if I could change  
Certainly in Joan would fall in love!  
This sexual revolution!

Choir

 

But some people just need friends,  
And it should not be forgotten!  
And even if sex is fashionable now...  
Love has not left us!  
It's sexual revolution!

 

***

 

General choir.

 

We love United  
And hearts connected.  
Love is the spark in his eyes,  
Butterflies in stomachs.  
Their wings open.  
And take of.  
Long live love!


End file.
